« I feel like I’m failing at something that should be easy. »

I want to tell you about something a client told me recently because I think a lot of people quietly feel this way:

“I struggled to ​I’m losing weight​ my whole adult life. I feel like I’m failing at something that should be easy.”

If you’ve struggled to get in shape before, you might know the same feeling.

It can creep in and make everything feel personal.

like you are the problem. Like « if I had more will » things would be better.

But here it is:

You don’t fail at something that should be easy.

You strive to do something that is difficult for everyone.

And that distinction makes a world of difference.

The discrepancy

When you zoom out and look at the actual evidence, getting in shape isn’t easy.

Not losing weight.

No muscle building.

Don’t stick to habits.

why Since we do all this in a system that stacks the deck:

And that’s just ours external environment.

When we look under the hood, each person has different levels of ​food noise​, ​enjoyment of exercise​history of injury etc.

We’re not all on a level playing field – and that playing field was already challenging to begin with!

I don’t say any of this to make you feel hopeless.

Quite the opposite:

Only by acknowledging very real limitations can we make a plan to break free.

Here’s a simple 2-step approach you can use to do just that.

Step 1: Gather evidence

An important part of rewriting the narrative is gathering evidence to the contrary.

That you’re the kind of person who shows up.

Take a few minutes each day to highlight each time you take an action that aligns with your goals.

✅ When you do a ​short workout​ instead of no training on a crazy day

✅ When you build a ​balanced plate​ during dinner

✅ When you add a few more reps to your workout

Write it down in a notebook. Write to a friend. Drop a marble into your ​jar of awesome​.

This is one of the most critical aspects of our ​coaching program​.

People need to see signs of progress. They need reinforcement that what they are doing is working.

This starts with highlighting the actions you take that move you toward your goals.

From there we can narrow down the target.

Step 2: Narrow the target

When you feel stuck and like nothing is working, it’s natural to want to try to change all things, all at once!

I encourage you to resist that urge.

Get more instead laser focused.

In my 15 years of coaching, the greatest progress has come from ​reduction the number of things​ someone should be worried. Without adding more to their to-do list.

Because focus creates consistency.

If you know what your number one goal is for the day, you’re much more likely to accomplish it than if you have a list of 10 things that you all think are important all the time.

If they are all the most important, then none of them is important.

Narrowing your focus not only improves consistency and reduces overwhelm, but it helps you learn what actually moves the needle for you.

You don’t have to guess whether something works or not – you’ve done it consistently and you can see the results for yourself!

–

So here is the thought I want you to practice:

instead of:

« I’m failing at something that should be easy. »

Try:

« I’m trying to do something that’s hard for almost everyone — and I’m still showing up. »

This strap is not fluffy.

It’s practical.

It breaks you out of shame and makes you problem solve. Allows you to track your progress are doing. And it frees up space for you to decide what your next step really is.

And this is the whole game:

Show yourself.

Collect evidence.

Narrow the focus.

Repeat.

You do this long enough and the identity you build becomes the thing that carries you forward.

If you want help figuring out your « one thing » for this week, reply to this email. i am here

– Matt