The yes and rule of Nerd Fitness in our life

As part of the celebration, he hired an improv comic, and we everyone had to participate in the study of improvised comedy.

(I just felt the collective thrill of all the introverts reading this newsletter).

We started throwing around fun scenarios and scenes to act in and learned the most important rule of Improv: « Yes and. »

Two simple words and the basis of all improvisational comedy:

Whenever someone comes up with a scene, sentence, or situation, the ONLY acceptable answer is: « yes and »

• Yes: Acceptance! I accept and acknowledge that whatever the situation is, no matter how absurd it is, it is true.
• And: build! Like a tennis match, once your improv partner hits the ball to you, it’s your job to hit it back! Building up the situation or scene.

For example, if your improv partner says « I’m a space pirate, » your response might be:

• « Yes, I’m the space police too, you’re under arrest! »
• « Yeah, and I’m a first mate looking for a new crew, that’s perfect! »
• « Yes, my name is Captain Hook too, welcome to Pirates Anonymous. »

The yes and rule is so important because there is nothing worse than a bad improvement partner!

Kind of like Liam Neeson in ​this brief sketch​ with Ricky Gervais, (I laugh every time):

Yes, and the rule of life

As a former « gifted » overachiever who has a pretty negative inner critic, I’ve been working hard on incorporating « yes and » into my life.

The yes part is built around acceptance, which is something I’ve spent the last two years embracing.

Check out my past essays on ​Acceptance​ and ​Wabi Sabi​ for more.

It’s the « and » part that I’ve been focusing on lately.

As Dr. Kristen Neff points out in her book  ​Self-compassion​ life is complicated, so are people:

“Judgment sets people up as bad versus good and tries to capture their essence with simplistic labels.

Discriminating wisdom recognizes complexity and ambiguity.”

Nothing is ever as simple as it seems. Things are never as good or as bad as our brain thinks they are.

So despite the voice in our heads that wants to judge everything in black and white, yes-or-no, good-bad… We must remember that life is a beautifully complex mess.

The author F. Scott Fitzgerald once said:

The test of first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

One must, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to do them otherwise.

That’s my assignment for you today.

Is there a part of your life that feels black and white and could use some complexity instead?

Nothing is as simple as it seems.

Life is hard and change is hard. And you are a good person who tries.

Which means there is hope. And ​hope is the emotion of the warrior​.