Why do you need a great why

Entrepreneur Peter Barton was at the top of the world.

Until it was.

Barton lived a life that everyone dreamed of, took care of themselves quite well and was a great husband and daddy of his family.

And then on a fateful day his world was broken:

Terminal diagnosis of cancer.

The work became less important, other experiences stopped making sense; He tried to take the pieces as he mourned a future he would not live. He would not see his children grow up or grow old with their wife.

Barton shared these thoughts and experiences in an absolutely heartbreaking book called Does not fade., And a paragraph has always stayed with me.

One day Peter’s body was destroyed, succumbed to cancer, his head ached, and his spirit was more nine than ever. Defeated, he told his supporting wife:

« I just don’t see the meaning. »

She replied, « So find one. »

Finding the question was about.

Barton received a life sentence and chose to « find the point of life » by writing a book that his children can read. A book that other people can read and analyze meaning in their own lives.

I was thinking of « finding the question, it happened, » as I reviewed another of my favorite books inspired by a recent episode of my friend Breti McKay Masculinity podcastS

Male search for meaning

Victor Frankl had survived from the Holocaust, psychotherapist and creator of a type of therapy called « logotherapy ».

After experiencing the horrors of Auschwitz and other concentration camps, he wrote the first project for his book, Male search for meaning., for nine days.

He even plans to publish it anonymously, but in the last second he was convinced to attach his name to add a little gravity to his survival story.

Since then, it has continued to sell 16+ million copies and be translated into 50+ languages.

The School of thought of Frankl, the logotherapy, is built around the idea that « the meaning of life is to find the meaning of life for every individual. He often mentions Nietzsche’s famous saying:

« The one who has a reason to live can bear almost any how. »

In this whole book, Frankl explains his thoughts and reflections on life as he watched thousands of people die or kill each other.

What is most striking in this short book is Frankl’s ability to find meaning and hope for humanity among one of the oldest human atrocities ever committed.

The second half of the book is immersed deeper into Logotherapy, encouraging us to find our own specific « meaning ».

« The meaning of life is different from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour.

> The important thing is that it is not the meaning of life as a whole, but more recently the specific meaning of a person’s life at a time. « 

You may not have been diagnosed with terminal cancer, nor suffer from the atrocities of the concentration camp.

But it probably made sense in your life, in which you ask, « Why the hell do I do what I do? »

We may think that asking the question means that there is something wrong with us. That we are not living right now. That we need help.

Frankl feels different. He believes that asking this question is critical and healthy:

« The biggest task for every person is to find meaning in their lives. »

What if he had this uncomfortable conversation with himself was actually part of the process?

What if asking this question was the question?

Your “big why”

We are talking a lot about « What is your big why? » Here, in Nerd’s fitness rebellion.

If we think about it logically we try to force ourselves to do things We are not connected (or required) to do.

Of course We do not want to burn extra calories, get up early to exercise and avoid filling our face with comfortable foods.

This requires additional effort, we need to feel hungry, we need to change our behavior. And our brain doesn’t want to do anything!

This may not be a « meaning of life » of the type … but it is a really powerful reminder that it helps us to stay consistent when life will give us everything but consistency:

• Why will we get up at 5am and go for a walk when it’s cold outside?
• Why say yes to salads and slender proteins when there are cookies and donuts?
• Why do we sweat (roughly) and take weights (uncomfortable)?
• Why are we forced to breathe heavily and let go of 5K or say yes to a yoga class where we feel deep in consciousness?

We talk about it a lot with Our coaching customers and members of NF Community:

With a constant reminder of Why We do this often can be something that keeps us on the way through these most difficult times after the motivation has expired:

We may want to break the generation cycle of unhealthy food connection we learned from our parents.

We may want our children to see that we can be a strong mother, that it is good to sweat and press ourselves.

Maybe we want to feel better in ourselves when we look in the mirror, or that we know we always feel better after workout than we felt beforetraining?

Your challenge this week is to ask yourself why you are here:

• Why are you ready to go through the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that come with change?
• Why are you ready to try to learn a new skill or adjust how you eat?
• Why are you ready to get up early and spend more time on your couch?

Continue deeper with your reasons. Keep asking « why » and see what comes out.

Record it.

Put it on a note after it and glue one on your refrigerator, a bathroom mirror, a car dashboard.

-Steve

###